Sunday, December 30, 2012

Teacher and Student Funny Conversation..


Teacher: Change this sentence into Future Tense, "I killed a person"
Student: The Future tense is "You will go to a jail"
Teacher: Did u make this poem yourself??
Student: Yes Sir !
Teacher: Nice to meet you, William Shakespeare
Teacher: Which one is more important for us, Son or Moon?
Student: Ofcourse Moon
Teacher: Why??
Students: The moon gives us light in night when we need it BUT the sun gives us light in day when we don't need it..
Teacher : What will you do after growing up?
Student : Facebooking
Teacher : No! I mean what will you Become?
Student : Admin of Facebook pages
Teacher : O My God! I Mean what will you Achieve when you grow up?
Student : Facebook Admin Rights
Teacher : Idiot! I Mean what will you do for you Parents ?
Student : I create a page for them on FacebooK."I Luv Mom and Dad".
Teacher : Stupid! What do you parents want from U? :@
Student : My Facebook password.
Teacher : Oh God!

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Trials and Tribulations in College

Physical Fitness
"It's a tough job to be a student. The endless assignments and stockpiles of information. It can make you into an academic couch potato. Therefore, don't neglect a balanced lifestyle -- the active with the academic. Keep your physical self in tune. There's substantial evidence which shows that high academic performance is more likely to occur when you're physically fit. Obvious conclusion? Routinely take yourself out for a jog, or a vigorous walk, or hit some racketballs, or play basketball -- whatever you can enjoy. Make it something that cranks your internal machinery into high gear for at least twenty minutes each time. Do this no less than three times a week. Wow -- that can be an investment of only an hour a week, and it's basically free. In return, your body will thank you and your brain will be refreshed."

- By Bob Gensemer 


Seek Help When Needed
"Take this tip from a student who knows. Don't let those studies get behind. If you're having a difficult time in a course, falling behind, or spending too much time having a good time, this message is for you. Ask for help now, before it's too late. When I started college, I wasn't aware of the importance of an education. I was a freshman who didn't know what I wanted. When I fell behind, I skipped class rather than going for help. This put me on academic probation. I was lucky though, I found help through the Academic Support Services. They helped me find a direction, and I learned there are tutors available to help with those troubled classes. Class stopped being a burden and began to be interesting. I realized I could do the work and people here helped me to focus. If you feel like things are generally over your head, get help. There are people who care about you and want you to succeed. Take advantage of the help that is provided to you. Remember, you are here for a reason. Don't party yourself out of school. You can do it."
- By Tracy Hergenroeder


Withdrawing From a Course
"None of us likes to have to quit in the middle of something we've started, but sometimes it's the only alternative. Withdrawing from a course is not something to be taken lightly, but unforeseen things can happen that make it necessary. If you find yourself in the position of having to withdraw from a class, know the rules. The last day to withdraw from a class with a "W" grade is posted at the beginning of every semester. After the official withdrawal date, withdrawing from a class is possible for extenuating circumstances, but it's a more complicated procedure and it will only be approved if the reasons are truly extenuating. Keep in mind that poor classroom performance is NOT an extenuating circumstance. It is also important to be familiar with any financial aid implications before withdrawing from a class."
- By Linda Lacny


Campus Involvement
"The college experience is certainly a unique one that will have many implications for the rest of your life. It is important to dive right in. The experience will be more rewarding and enjoyable if you step right up to the plate. Get involved in campus life, not only in the classroom, but in other areas as well. Life will surely be easier if it is shared with the people around you. Many students are timid when it comes to talking with others, especially teachers. Talking with and getting to know your instructors is as important as showing up for class. Teacher-student involvement is an indication of a serious and committed student. So study hard, get involved, and enjoy yourself!"
- By Shawn Reagan




Top Ten Reasons: Why Are You Flunking Out?
"I'm bringing you, direct from the home office in Sioux City, Saskatchewan Today's "Top Ten List." The subject of this Academic Survival Top Ten List is "why are you flunking out of Edinboro University?" O.K., here we go, the top ten reasons you're flunking out of Edinboro is:

#10 All the professors in this school are morons.

# 9 The cafeteria food is secretly laced with a chemical that makes me stupid.

# 8 A college degree is over rated. Sharon Stone did not complete her Edinboro academic program and look how famous she is.

# 7 A college degree is really unnecessary. John Wayne Bobbitt doesn't have an Edinboro degree and he seems to have put things back together pretty well.

# 6 The scheduling computer predetermines my failure. How could I possibly be expected to attend classes that begin before noon?

# 5 My QPA is 0.20 right now. However next semester I'm joining the fraternity. They have all the tests and required academic materials on file so I can expect a 4.00 next Fall.

# 4 I'm an important link in the local Edinboro economy. Shoot, if I went to class and studied, the "Hotel" would probably go bankrupt.

# 3 Human development necessitates a prioritizing of one's life. Right now I'm concentrating on my socialization skills.

# 2 It's not what you know but who you know. So right now I'm dating 3 of my professors.

# 1 I'm not failing the system, the system is failing me.
O.K., so there are a lot of reasons for not doing well academically. However, some day you've got to accept that you, and you alone are responsible for your life and its success or failure. If you are not trying to be the best student you can be right now, you're wasting time, money and risking your chances of future happiness. Quit whining! Get to class and keep up on your assignments. That task should be #1 on your 'Top Ten List.' "
- By Doug Watts


College and Alcohol Reading
"Most people come to college expecting to have a good time while they're here, and some think that means drinking games or chugging contests. Did you know that most students at Edinboro don't drink heavily? Fewer than half drink even once a week, and only one in five drinks three nights a week or more. On the whole, at every campus in the country -- including Edinboro -- the less students drink, the better their grades are. Think about it. If you drink lightly -- or not at all -- you're much less likely to miss classes, do poorly on an exam, have trouble concentrating, or have to spend time dealing with the aftermath of a binge. So take a minute to look at your lifestyle and make some healthy decisions about alcohol and other drug use. If you choose not to abuse, you not only have a lot of company at Edinboro, but you're far more likely to succeed academically."
- By Mary Anne Weiner



Stay Clean and Stay Cool
"College can be a transitional period for many students. It's hard to know what to expect--academic pressures, different environment, making new friends and "fitting in". WOW! I used to think fitting in meant hanging out with my friends and drinking all the time. Now that I am in graduate school, I realize that one doesn't have to drink to have fun. Alcohol is a drug. You don't have to drink or do drugs to be 'cool'. Be high on life, not drugs. And remember it is O.K. to say NO. Don't let someone tell you that you have to drink or it's O.K. to just have one beer. If you don't want it don't take it. If someone is your friend they'll understand."

- By Valerie Smith

Monday, December 24, 2012

A glass of Milk, paid in Full

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry. He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door.

Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk.

He drank it slowly, and then asked, “How much do I owe you?”

“You don’t owe me anything,” she replied. “Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness.”
He said, “Then I thank you from my heart.”

As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.

Year’s later that young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease.

Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes. Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room.
Dressed in his doctor’s gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to the case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room.
She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill. She began to read the following words:

“Paid in full with one glass of milk”
Signed, Dr. Howard Kelly.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Tips for Effective Studying

Memory

When we first learn something, information is processed into the brain to form a neural trace. This trace first enters your sensory memory, and then, if you're paying attention, to your Short Term Memory, or STM. If you keep working to process the information and adapt it correctly it then moves to your Long Term Memory, or LTM. The information processed into your LTM is more or less permanent; with occasional reviewing you will not forget it. The trick is to adapt the information you really need into your LTM as quickly as possible. Your STM has a small capacity and a short duration; you may learn something very quickly, but in 24 hours you will lose 80% of that information. The STM is fast and easily accessed, the LTM is slower but larger.

Repetition

The key to learning something well is repetition; the more times you go over the material the better chance you have of storing it permanently. Before you begin this process, however, it makes sense that you determine the type of learner you are. There are three basic types of learning: Visual, Auditory and Haptic. Most of us are, in fact, some combination of the three, but chances are one style will suit us more than the other two. Take some time to look over the types and figure out which category best describes your method of learning. Learning Types Visual Learners:

Visual learners study best when the material is graphic, ie. charts, tables, maps, etc. When in class, visual people should look at the professors when they are speaking, participate in class discussions and take detailed notes during lectures. When studying, study alone in a quiet place and try to transcribe your material on paper. When possible make drawings, graphs or tables of complex abstract ideas and work alone. Visual learners often have trouble working while having a dialogue, even if the dialogue directly pertains to the subject matter.

Auditory Learners:

Auditory people work best when they can hear the material. Read aloud, go over your notes and talk to yourself about the important points. Before reading, set a purpose and verbalize it, after you've finished be sure to summarize out loud what you just read. Speak your ideas into a tape machine as if you were having a conversation with someone, if you can, talk to your friends about the material. Because Auditory learners sometimes have trouble keeping columns aligned, try doing math computations by hand, on graph paper.

Haptic Learners:

Haptic learners are the most maligned division; they are the people that can't sit still. Haptics have to pace around the room, they must have music or a television playing in the background and are almost constantly finding themselves distracted. Despite what parents and teachers have been saying to the contrary, Haptic learning is just as effective as the other two, more traditional, types. Instead of fighting against your nature, adapt to it and find a method that really works. Make studying more physical; work at a standing desk, pace around the room, do reading while on an exercise bike, chew gum. Try to use color when you can; highlight your readings, read with a filtered light, put posters and bright colors around your desk. Haptic people should vary their activities, if you feel frustrated or 'clogged up' do something different for a few minutes. Try and keep a list of distractions as they come to you; once you write them down, they won't bother your concentration as much. If you want to, play music in the background at whatever volume you choose to. When reading, try skimming over the chapter to get a solid basic meaning before you really dig in. Try to visualize complex projects from start to finish before you begin them. Visualization is a useful tool for Haptic people, it helps you keep a positive, productive outlook on the task at hand.

SQ3R

The SQ3R method is the reading and studying system preferred by many educators. Reading research indicates that it is an extremely effective method for both comprehension and memory retention. It's effective because it is a system of active reader involvement.

Step 1. "S"= Survey Before you actually read a chapter, or go over a particular section of notes, take five minutes to survey the material. Briefly check headings and subheadings in order to understand the author's organizational pattern of ideas to be discussed. Scan all visual material. Read introductory and summary paragraphs. This preview will enable you to anticipate what the chapter is about.

Step 2. "Q"= Question Create interest in the material by asking: What are the main points of the chapter? As you read, keep the question in mind and figure out the most important points. It gives you a clearly defined purpose for reading, and helps you maintain interest in the material.

Step 3. "R"= Read Read the chapter actively for meaning. Go through the paragraph before underlining, then underline key words and phrases to help you recall the main points. Be selective, you don't want to highlight non-important points or miss anything that can help your comprehension. Summarize main concepts in your own words in the margins. The more active you are in the reading process, the more you will retain.

Step 4. "R"= Recite After every few pages, close your book and recite aloud the main points to the questions you posed in step 2. Try to recall basic details as to the author's intent by putting them in your own words. Verify your answer by checking the text. If you can't remember the text, read through it again. If you don't get it now, you won't remember it for a test. Take as much time as you need to answer your questions. Don't be frustrated, this takes more time but the information will be clearer in your mind.

Step 5. "R"= Review Finally, review the chapter every so often to fix the material in your mind. Keep rereading your margin notes and underlinings. Verbalize the sequence of main ideas and supporting facts to aid retention. Numerous reviews are a lot more effective than one cramming session the night before an exam. Review once right after you've finished reading and then every couple of days. The SQ3R is time consuming at first, expect it to take ten to fifteen percent longer to read a given chapter when you first begin. Research indicates a 70%% increase in retention after two months of using the system and, eventually, a reduction in time spent preparing for exams.

Note Taking Techniques

The most comprehensive note taking systems require attention on your part. You must be alert enough in class to take legible, meaningful notes. You can't rely on "writing everything down" because a lot of information in a given lecture won't help you actually learn the material. If you have problems determining the specific relevant points in a particular class, you can always ask the professor to clarify them for you. The 2-6 Method The 2-6 refers to the way you divide the space on your notepaper. Make two columns, using the red line on the left of the page as your border. Then, when you take notes in class, use the 6 column for the notes and the smaller 2 column on the left as a highlighting system. Write main headings and important points on the left, including material you think you will be tested on. When you're finished, you should have a comprehensive page of information that you can quickly scan for important points. Finally If you have any questions or need more help, stop by and talk to one of our counselors. Studying is 99%% perspiration; if you give it a real, concentrated effort over the course of a semester you will see an improvement. Your academic success is entirely up to you.
In order to excel in college, you must first learn how to study properly. Contrary to historical opinion, there are many effective ways to learn information; it is a question of figuring out what works for you. What type of studying best suits you? What time of day are you most efficient? What is the proper environment for you to study in? Before you can answer these questions, you have to do a little research. It takes an effort but the rewards are more than worth it.
By George Mason University

Each Person Shines His Own Way

A samurai who was known for his nobility and honesty, went to visit a Zen monk to ask him for his advice.
When the monk had finished his prayers, the Samurai asked, “Why do I feel so inferior? I have faced death many times, have defended those who are weak. Nevertheless, upon seeing you meditating, I felt that my life had absolutely no importance whatsoever.”

“Wait. Once I have attended to all those who come to see me today, I shall answer you.” – replied the monk.

The samurai spent the whole day sitting in the temple gardens, watching the people go in and out in search of advice. He saw how the monk received them all with the same patience and the same illuminated smile on his face.

At nightfall, when everyone had gone, he demanded: “Now can you teach me?”

The master invited him in and lead him to his room. The full moon shone in the sky, and the atmosphere was one of profound tranquility.

“Do you see the moon, how beautiful it is? It will cross the entire firmament, and tomorrow the sun will shine once again.”

“But sunlight is much brighter, and can show the details of the landscape around us: trees, mountains, clouds.”

“I have contemplated the two for years, and have never heard the moon say: why do I not shine like the sun? Is it because I am inferior?”

“Of course not.” – answered the samurai. “The moon and the sun are different things, each has its own beauty. You cannot compare the two.”

“So you know the answer. We are two different people, each fighting in his own way for that which he believes, and making it possible to make the world a better place; the rest are mere appearances.”

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Its Awesome.. Must Read..


Its Awesome.. Must Read..

A Husband comes home drunk, vomits and falls down on the floor. Wife gets him up and cleans everything.

Next day when he gets up he expects her to be really angry with him. He braces for a fight, but finds a note near the table.

"Honey, your favorite breakfast is ready on the table, I had to leave early to buy groceries. I'll come running back to you, my love. I love you.

Surprised, he asks his son, "What happened last night?"

The Son replies, "When mom got you up to bed and tried removing your boots and shirt. You were dead drunk and you said,

"Hey Lady! Leave Me Alone. I'm Married!!"

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Funny Wedding Anniversary

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, Romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful Fairy appeared on their table.

She said, ‘For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.’

The wife answered, ‘Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.‘

The fairy waved her magic wand and – poof! – two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment: ‘Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again…

I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me..‘

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!..

The husband became 92 years old!!!

Moral: Men should remember fairies are females too.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

IT IS THE LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE


There was a man taking a morning wa lk at or the beach. He saw that along with the morning tide came hundreds of starfish and when the tide receded, they were left behind and with the morning sun rays, they would die. The tide was fresh and the starfish were alive. The man took a few steps, picked one and threw it into the water. He did that repeatedly. Right behind him there was another person who couldn't understand what this man was doing. He caught up with him and asked, "What are you doing? There are hundreds of starfish. How many can you help? What difference does it make?" This man did not reply, took two more steps, picked up another one, threw it into the water, and said, "It makes a difference to this one."

What difference are we making? Big or small, it does not matter. If everyone made a small difference, we'd end up with a big difference, wouldn't we?